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College football Championship Week as explained by Diana Ross
Deshaun Watson strengthened his Heisman case at the end, like a true diva. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara and Lester Cohen/WireImage)

Championship Week as explained by Diana Ross

Well, everything's been settled, and you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing has changed because the top four are still Alabama, OSU, Clemson, and Washington. But just outside the playoff picture, for those who were paying attention, there was plenty of intrigue to be had. So to help you make sense of the interesting football you missed while you were watching the SEC championship, we've enlisted Diana Ross.


"Ain't No Mountain High Enough": WMU is still undefeated, on their way to a New Year's Six Bowl



There's no stopping the rowboat.

P.J. Fleck and his Western Michigan Broncos have put together one of the most impressive seasons for a non-power-5 school in recent history, and after winning the MAC Championship over the Ohio Bobcats in a game that was closer than it should have been, they've punched their ticket to the Cotton Bowl against the Wisconsin Badgers.

Don't count the Broncos out on New Year's, though. This will be their greatest test so far, and yes, their only other power 5 opponents have been Northwestern and Illinois, but at the same time, their average margin of victory is over 20 points. If you expect the Badgers to roll over this plucky team from the MAC, well, you haven't been paying attention. Because so far this season, there hasn't been a mountain high enough, a valley low enough, or indeed, a river wide enough, for the Broncos to row across.

"No One Gets the Prize": Penn State wins Big Ten Championship, Gus Johnson proceeds to erase all goodwill we had for them



The country was ready. Penn State had won a barn-burner against Wisconsin to lock up the Big Ten Championship, and immediately became destined to be on the outside of the playoffs looking in, despite a win over Ohio State.

We were ready to like Penn State. Not to forgive the atrocities that happened there, mind, but to support college students who bore no fault for what happened there and inadvertently bore the brunt of sanctions and recruiting fallout. We were ready to argue that they should have been in at #4, and to sympathize with fans.

And then Gus Johnson, one of the announcers for the game, brought us all back down to earth by saying the win was a "milestone in the healing process", presumably for the team -- not for the victims of Jerry Sandusky's abuse. As Awful Announcing put it, his comments "drive home the notion that, ultimately, the point is that Penn State Football winning again is all that matters. And that's how we got here in the first place."

"Eaten Alive": Temple embarrasses Navy, 34-10

 

Take it from a Northwestern fan, this is what can happen when you rely too much on an option offense.

From start to finish in the AAC title game, the Temple Owls dominated the then-19th-ranked Navy Midshipmen from end to end. Temple scored touchdowns on every single one of its first three possessions, and though things slowed down from there, Temple never really took their foot off the gas pedal, scoring an additional 10 points in the 4th quarter when Navy was threatening to make it a game. And though Temple's defense did give up 306 yards – nothing to write home about from a defensive standpoint – they forced 3 turnovers, and only let Navy into the end zone once. Scoring early, Temple had Navy on the run, and the chance is, the Owls were the faster ones.

"I Will Survive": Deshaun Watson makes his argument for the Heisman Trophy



Okay, I know this is a Gloria Gaynor song originally. Sue me. It fits too well.

I've personally said it before, and it really did seem true. Lamar Jackson looked to be running away with the Heisman Trophy, and though he likely still will, Deshaun Watson will make tonight's decision a bit more difficult given his performance in the ACC championship game.

So, given all the pressure of a championship game, given that he had essentially been counted out of the Heisman race, did you think he'd crumble? Did you think he'd lay down and die? Nope. Watson was personally responsible for all but one of Clemson's 6 touchdowns against Virginia Tech, threw for just under 290 yards, and tacked on an additional 85 yards on the ground. Yes, the Heisman is still Jackson's to lose, but for the first time this season, it seems ever-so-slightly possible that he might.

"You've Made Me So Very Happy": Notre Dame is still not going to a bowl game



Yes, this is another cover, but bear with me, please. I want to relish this for as long as I absolutely possibly can.

Notre Dame is not going to a bowl game.

The school that is too good for a conference, that talks all high and mighty about "winning the right way" despite countless academic and ethical violations, the unanimous St. Louis Cardinals of the NCAA... they are done. And they are bad.

So thank you, Notre Dame. Thank you for being so bad. Thank you for losing in heartbreaking ways over the past few years to teams I root for, and thank you for losing in heartbreaking ways to literally everyone else this year. You made me so very happy. I'm so glad you came into my life.

Now go away.
Can you name the coaches in college football with the most wins?

Per Sports-Reference, this only includes games played by schools while they were considered major schools and will exclude notable coaches such as Eddie Robinson (408 wins) and John Gagliardi (489 wins)

SCORE:
0/10
TIME:
4:00
409 1966-2011
Joe Paterno
357 1970-2009
Bobby Bowden
323 1945-1982
Bear Bryant
311 1897-1938
Pop Warner
282 1891-1943
Amos Alonzo Stagg
257 1972-2000
LaVell Edwards
255 1973-1997
Tom Osborne
249 1969-2004
Lou Holtz
248 1990-
Nick Saban
245 1985-
Mack Brown

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